A lesson for moms from the Velveteen Rabbit

by Marissa Writes - Wednesday, June 05, 2013

The classic story of the Velveteen Rabbit - do you know it? Do your kids?

I remember that story vividly, because as a child it made me sad, so sad to know that maybe one of my stuffed animals was feeling such horribleness over being forgotten... I'd try to set up schedules so that each of my little snugglies would have time with me, fearful of hurting them.

Now as a mom I so want my boys to know this story - how it shows that life is hard, and it isn't always fair. But there is a joy that comes in feeling, simply feeling. Even when what we are feeling hurts.

I think this story teaches empathy. Now that is a trait I want my boys to know - empathy. But how do we teach such a behavior?

Especially in today's world of go go go, and faster, and multi-tasking. There is hardly any time to be still and allow another person's hurt to burn into our lives. Let alone the time to show our littles how to listen to others, to hear them, to feel their feelings... Could empathy be a dying character trait? (Tweet this)

There is so much to be gained from the story of the Velveteen Rabbit, although I never thought about it as a learning tool for myself as a mom. At least not until last month.

Last month, Ann Voskamp wrote some beautiful posts about Mother's Day, and what it could mean if we allowed our perspectives to change. And one line shouted out to me among them all.

There's far more Velveteen Mothers who are broken into real and worn into beauty.

Those words sunk in deep. Those hours, days, years that melt together as a mother, they are hard, and often times they really hurt. They hurt on a level I didn't even know I had, let alone knew could feel pain!

And I know, for sure, that every single mother feels these moments, these moments that can lead to real and beauty. Some just don't care to work through to the beauty side. Some give in to the pain and simple stop feeling. But that pain, that feeling that is ugly, it is essential.

Because it means we are alive.

Don't compare those moments that seem hard for you to another mom's trying times. Don't get caught up in that game. It makes the process of being loved into living, so much harder than in needs to be. And don't fool yourselves - you are being loved into a life that is worth living!

As moms, we are alive to bring energy and life and empathy to our littles. We are alive, and able to grow little spirits simply by taking that next step, even the steps that are hard, ugly, unwanted.

Because only after we go through an ugly step can we actually see the beauty on the other side. And there is so much beauty to see as Velveteen mothers.