Who Am I?

by Marissa Writes - Wednesday, May 08, 2013

Who am I?

That is a question that many of us, I think, searched for answers to while we were high school. Maybe it sounded a little more like, what am I going to do with my life? But when I look back, that question was rooted in the answer to Who am I? first. Right?

Only once we know who we are, where we come from, even where we belong, can we start to look towards where we can go, what we can accomplish.

And now, years after high school, even years after college, I find myself still asking, Who am I? Where do I belong? What should I be working towards?

Do you ask yourself these questions ever?

These questions are usually minor little thoughts, thoughts that are quickly answered by my daily life and left behind. But there are days, you know the days, when these questions weigh heavily. Either because I am feeling guilty over a bad decision that is resulting in a consequence I didn't count on, or simply because it's one of those days, as Anne in my favorite books series calls them, Jonah days.

And those hard days where questions weigh heavy and answers seem out of reach, they seem to happen more often now that I'm a mom. Do not read this wrong, I love being a mom, my kids are my number one priority all day. It's just that this world makes it hard to be secure in just being a mom.

I know you are nodding your head now - this world says we should be moms that make all the food from scratch, every day; we need to put together educational scavenger hunts for every walk we take; us moms need to throw birthday parties that have amazing themes, with amazingly decorated cakes and rooms; the list goes on and on. And that isn't including the other jobs we have - wife, housekeeper, ways to earn money... So I think you understand why on days when I loose confidence, and those oh so simple questions start to weigh heavy I struggle with not having simple answers.

Suddenly I need a safe place to land while I find the answers. Answers that will give me the confidence to stand back up and step forward. Answers that warm my heart again, and allow love to flow freely instead of sharp words that hurt. Answers that are actually right in front of my face all day every day.

For me, during these days that weigh heavy, I turn to music. You see, music is calming to me. It helps push out the thoughts in my head and can replace them. So of course I must pick wisely what I listen to.

And for me, on the days when the questions weigh hard, and the answer seem out of reach. And simply reading my Bible or praying, or even talking to a friend just are not within my power to actually do, there is a song that breaks the wall and allows the Truth to enter into my heart. And today I'd like to share it with you, just in case there are days when you need to be reminded to.

Do you have these days? Do you turn to music to help when you can't seem to go anywhere else? What song is your go to song for those days that just weigh you down? I'd love to hear them! Leave a comment, leave a link to the song - join the conversation! Or even tweet this concept for others to join the conversation.