Livvie, a high school student, sees the world differently thanks to synesthesia which drive her to spend more time drawing what she sees into marvelous works of art. So when life takes a dramatic turn down a path she only thought of in her nightmares she can't cope.  One horrible life moment smacks Livvie in the face day after day, leaving her wishing for a safe haven.

But will she find one, or will life strip away every little shred of home she thought she had?

I enjoyed the beginning of the book - the set up for Livvie was interesting. She seemed like the kind of kid everyone knew in high school - got dealt a bad hand in life, but kept pushing through. Tends to be standing off by herself, but has friends too...

I even thought the tattoo scene at the opening was fun.  Seemed real enough... could tell it was setting up a bigger plot but still high school.

I was mostly interested in the details surrounding the synesthesia - I remembered it from my college courses, and wanted to see it in a story.  I wish it had been more of focus, and more deeply described through the entire book.

There was too much in this book. Literally every hot button topic for teens, and parents of teens, comes up in this book. Its just thrown in... lack of self-confidence, issues with trust and friendship, unsure how to communicate actual feelings, possible rape, bullying, body-weight issues, gender issues, sexual orientation questions... and add in cancer, assisted suicide, and a depressed mother along with it.

As a result my brain couldn't focus on one point, and the whole story flopped.

Heart image of rating

I can only give this book two hearts, and I'm said to say that.  I wanted this to focused.  There is such potential in the idea of a high school girl with synesthesia, yet every little current issue muddied the water. 

I have no idea who I would recommend this book to.  I'm not sure I can recommend it - and that might be a first for me.  I can usually say my hang ups over a book stem from a lack of disconnect, but that others could probably connect better. But to be honest, this book is just a mess.

That being said, I do think the author has potential. In this world of Amazon epublishing, so many writers are rushing to get books out, to compete. And the time spent to perfect is being pushed aside to get a finished product. Mostly, the time spent with an agent, an editing team, and doing the painful work of really editing and reworking a plot gets shortened. And I'm not sure how to fix that. But this book needed more time in the editing department, because it had amazing potential.

One quick word... there are so many trigger scenes in this for so many emotional and physical abuse, that if you might have any concern, maybe steer away. Feel free to ask me question if you want clarification on that. I did read this entire book as I wanted to find a reason to love it. 

Wondering Questions to Consider

I'm going to get right to it here... if you made it this far on this post thank you... but be prepared for a minor spoiler, to the actual point of conflict for the MC - assisted suicide is a serious topic.  It is uncomfortable to talk about because to discuss you have to discuss the importance of life. And how do you do so without looking to the origin of life... These are big points. And if you don't know where life comes from, or who decided that life was worth creating, then these are impossible to answer. But teens are in questioning mode, whether they share that with their parents or not (adults are in questioning mode too most days... but that's another point.)  While this book has it's hang up, the launch point for an assisted suicide heart-to-heart this book can provide...