A Lovable You

Even Through the Darkness

There is nothing more intimidating than walking into a room full of strangers, well for most of us.  Of course, it gets worse if you are the new person walking into a group that is already established.  What about if you are returning to a group after some huge secret about your past was uncovered?

Fears of judgment and rejection often keep us from ever walking into such a situation.






Instead, we find ways to bury the parts of us, the parts of our past, deep under layers of personality, friendly smiles, kind eyes, and maybe even bouncy steps.  We find aspects of ourselves that align with the popular people of the group and try to magnify them while minimizing the aspects of us that do not appear to fit in.

In some cases, maybe this natural tendency to project parts of us while restraining others is a good thing.  I mean you need to make sure at a job interview you are selling the aspects of you that make you the best candidate for the job.  But what about when we are "interviewing" for acceptance into a group of peers?  A new church group maybe?  A new relationship?

Before you know it, the persona you displayed in order to be accepted is who you are in the eyes of these people - or this person.  As time goes on you might just start to realize that you are keeping some very important points hidden... why?

Are you keeping parts of your life hidden because you are truly trying to change? Or are you keeping secrets because there is a darkness that is in you that could change the opinion of your new friend?





Let's talk about that inner darkness a little bit...



When you are alone - in your car, at home... you know those times when your true thoughts can fill your mind, and you can really discover yourself- how often do you notice a darkness? A bend towards something ugly that you hope no one ever knows about you?   Come on be honest, isn't that the joy of the internet... you can be honest about this because you are looking at the screen...





I am pretty sure there are quite a few that are nodding along at this point... why?  Well because Imagine Dragon's Demons has been on the top of the charts for 31 weeks (at the time of this writing) and what is the song about?  The struggle to keep the darkness, the beast, those aspects of ourselves that we want desperately to hide from others, especially those we love most.






Once we allow someone into our hearts, we fear their rejection more than anything.  As a result, we work harder and harder to keep the demons from being apparent.  There are some things that this kind of practice can lead to a better personality... but do people really change?  Or does this practice just make us into gullible kings and queens of our own kingdoms, kingdoms that are at risk of invasion and overthrow daily?





There has to come a point in time when this effort of keeping someone from getting too close can't be done anymore because your love, your need to be loved, takes over.  So what do you do?

Do you push them away?  Do you risk hurting them in order to protect yourself?

Do you show them the truth? Do you risk disappointing them? Of their rejection?



What if the answers do not really lie in the relationship with another person at all.  What if the answers are calling you right now - a person who knows just how dark your demons are, have been, and still He calls to you.  He calls with words of comfort because even knowing how full of greed you are He loves you.  He can look in your eyes, see the hidden demons, see deeper into your soul and know that there is also beauty.  Could that kind of love change you?

Could it change your willingness to be honest with yourself?  To be honest with those around you, the ones you have been hiding from?





While you think about those questions, check out these amazing quotes from my favorite book.  And then if you feel like it,  leave a comment below with what your heart and your head are thinking...

• But God put His love on the line for us by offering his Son in sacrificial death while we were of no use whatsoever to Him.  (Rom 5:8 MSG)
• This is real love - not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.  (1 Jn 4:10 NLT)
• "...Don't be afraid, I've redeemed you. I've called your name. You are mine. When you're in over your head, I'll be there with you. When you're in rough, dark waters, you will not go down. When you are between a rock and a hard place, it won't be a dead end- Because I am God, your personal God, The Holy of Israel, your Savior.  I paid a huge price for you, the lives of many. That is how much you mean to me. That is how much I love you. I'd sell off the whole world to get you back, trade all of creation, trade a part of myself, just for you." (paraphrase of Is 43:4 MSG)