Reading Your MaleMonday, August 12, 2013
My whole life I've heard about the battle women face in this time of history. That as women we have to stand next to each other, because no one else will. And on some levels, maybe this is true, but the older I get, the more I experience the world, the more I realize this isn't the whole true.
Women were created to stand next to men. That statement leads me to believe that there is some mutual need for respect and support. It's not a set up of women on this side and men on the other side battling for equal everything. Granted I'm not an expert... it's just that these thoughts led me to pick up a book I never would have considered reading: Reading Your Male by Mary Farrar.
**I need to begin this review by saying, although this book doesn't deal with any topics that are inappropriate for discussion, they will most likely trigger some filters that are great for the safety of our children. Please now that my discussion of this book is important for all women in our society, so consider turning the filter off for just this post.
As a young girl I was the typical stereotype girly girl when it came to boys - they had cooties, and I didn't care to mix company with them any more than I had to (mind you family was different, I had a younger brother and many cousins, but I didn't think of them at all like boys, they were family). As a result I didn't really notice or pat attention to what boys went through growing up. This of course made me very ill-equipped as a mother to boys, let alone a wife who is to support her husband.
"In a nutshell, this is a book about the innate male sexual struggle and the role that women play in that struggle." p 27
Farrar's book opened up a viewpoint I had never considered. She opens the discussion for women to have about the area of sexual sin in Christian men.
There is a crisis today among Christian men in the area of sexual sin. Wives, girlfriends, and mothers know this and want to help - they just don't know how. Mary Farrar illuminates to women men's innermost feelings, exposes the dichotomy in male/female communication, and shows that women can play an active role in this ongoing battle. There's also advice for single women who want to relate to single men, and mothers of boys will find a strong chapter about the role they play in the healthy sexual development of their sons. With up-to-date psychological research, Reading Your Male is an indispensable resource, equipping a woman to fight wisely and effectively alongside her man in the ongoing struggle against sexual sin. ~Amazon book descriptionFarrar writes in an easy-to-understand tone that flows from point to point, which allows this heavy topic to be absorbed. She has filled the book with facts supported with great research on the war men wage in the spiritual world constantly. She points out that this battle ground is full of men and boys, and the age range is astonishing. Even with this book being a few years old, this is a war that is still waging, and like me, many women are not aware of the extent in the least.
I completely agree with Farrar, especially now, that as women we have to be aware of the truth in order to support and encourage the males in our lives properly. There might have been times when the edges of this battle spilled into my life, but since it didn't directly effect me, I looked the other way, ignoring the truth, refusing to even investigate or care. This just isn't an okay response for anyone to have, but is a dangerous stance to take as a Christian woman who wants to support and encourage other Christians.
"When we speak of 'manliness,' we are referring to the natural, God-given proclivity toward courage, healthy aggressiveness, and readiness to lead in personal relationships when it is proper to do so." p 69
For me the best part of this book was the overview on the topic in general. There are plenty of places to turn once sexual sin has overwhelmed and professional help is needed. However, Farrar points out that the issues (specifically internet pornography) that lead to this start years before such a problem is even there, let alone caught. And that, those early exposures and temptations and lack of training are the areas where women can stand beside men and support and encourage behavior that is pleasing to our God.
Honestly, this is a book that all women should read, simply to be aware of the issue. I truly believe that ignorance can be a serious handicap, especially when topics of addiction and sin are so intricately combined. The discussion needs to be one that all mothers, wives and women need to hear. Plus, for mothers of boys, Farrar gives many resources that will be useful as you stand next to your sons in trials and challenges that lay ahead.
There are so many quotes, points and statistics I'd love to share from this book, but it would probably sink in more if you read this book. I am sure you could find it at the library, and have seen it go on sale on Amazon often. So if the opportunities arises, do not hesitate with this one. It is worth it.
Reading List Rating:
Are a mom of boys that has experienced this battle ground? A wife that has seen the war? Do you wish you had been aware of it before it slammed into your life? Do you even realize how large this subject is? I'd love for you to chime in on this topic of sexual sin in the male life. I realize there is much to be said about sexual sin in women's lives, but that is another day's topic.
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