The Phenomenon of Mommy Tears

Friday, December 07, 2012

Sitting in a room full of moms - some very new moms, others who have great insight to the journey, and many, like me, who are somewhere in between - I heard the sniffles, you know the sniffles that moms make when the tears are starting flow, but we try to keep them from falling freely? Especially in bigger groups... The music was simple, yet it was touching... and so the sniffles became a new layer of the melody.



Have you experienced those mommy tears? Are you the one who sniffles in the group to keep them from flowing? Do you wonder if you are alone?

 When, as a mom, your emotions are in such a need to release, that they just bubble up and spill over. I am guessing some of that comes from the fact that as moms we, at least I do, try to keep those moments of release few in an effort to provide a stable environment for our kids. I mean it can be scary for a kid to see his mommy cry - and forget about explaining that nothing is really wrong with mommy... I mean it's hard enough to explain to your preschooler the difference between pain and just discomfort...

The mommy tears have been a new phenomenon for me to experience, but I know they are not new to the generations of moms who have traveled this road.

When I was younger, maybe nine or ten, a friend's mom, who also had reached the point where the sniffles just didn't help contain those mommy tears, and she would allow them to trickle down when she thought us kids wouldn't notice. Of course at that age, I sided with my friend in that it was so embarrassing for her mom to just cry!  I mean we were at a movie theater, it wasn't worth crying over! (As a mom now I realize it was - we were at the Lion King, need I say more?)

And of course there are the jokes about moms crying over all the Hallmark ads every holiday season - where else would that come from?

Like I said though, this is not something I was preparing for when I pictured what needed done to be a good mom... One does not picture the need to release tears and emotions as an important part of being a healthy mom. But I am starting to think that those mommy tears are essential to being a good mom, because the feelings and emotions behind them are so essential.

We want to feel, it's a blessing we've been granted from the Lord to feel sympathy, empathy, pain, loss, and love (and so many more!). Or as Charles Dickens shares, "Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts. I was better after I had cried, than before - more sorry, more aware of my own ingratitude, more gentle."

Mommy tears


I will go to those times with other mommies where we can sit and sniffle as we slowly allow the release to occur. I will not be ashamed of the times when the emotions are too strong and the release happens in the dark theater, or on the bathroom floor during the kids nap time. That release means I am feeling.

And the fact that I can feel is the gift God gave me to be the perfect mom to my kids.  (Tweet this)

Plus I realize, as I look around this room full of moms, those moms that have more knowledge on this particular journey are the ones with the tissue box within reach - ready to dab their own eyes, or pass along a tissue full with sympathy to the newer moms who are unsure where these tears are coming from all the time.






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